The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to LIVE ~ Mitch Albom
One of the most MIRACULOUS moments I get to witness is when I dare someone who is struggling to embody GIVING UP.
They immediately feel panic.
“WHAT?! But… I’ll… What will… Um…”
I respond gently with “I get a sense you’ve done things a certain way for so long… why not try the total opposite on just to see what might be there for you? I promise you can go back to the hard, trying way after if you want.”
Most times, their curiosity (and fatigue) agrees to play the scariest game of pretend … ever.
How do they choose to express “giving up”?
* Some commit fully and fall on their back onto their beds as if bungy jumping into the abyss.
* Some lie back and arrange their limbs as if a chalk outline is about to be drawn.
* Some curl up into a ball and pull over the covers to mimic the darkness they expect.
* Some squirm and flail… until they drop down into the full experience of it.
And then “it” begins…
They metaphorically fall down the well and feel as if they are drowning in the tidal wave they’ve been trying to outrun for decades.
They feel the struggle to keep their head above the water but then give up the fight and allow the floodgates to carry them through one of the ugliest cries of their life.
They surrender and wonder if this means they are dying. And they stick with it even though they are scared. Their soul knows they need this.
Because they are right, parts of them ARE dying.
> The parts that innocently believed they needed to FIGHT and take ACTION to be worthy, loved or successful.
> The parts that stand guard to make sure they don’t get hurt or compromised again.
> The parts that never seem to rest and always feel the need to be useful or productive.
When they finally land and hit the “bottom” (aka the truth) of themselves, something unexpected happens.
They take the BIGGEST breath as if they are coming up for air.
They notice how different the breath feels in this new place – still unsure of exactly where they are they stay open because this feels a hell of a lot better than the falling part.
Somethings caught them at the bottom.
The feelings settle and their breath becomes the focus. They realized they haven’t taken a FULL breath in as long as they can remember and it’s a welcomed experience.
There’s a shift.
It’s like there is more space and they stretch out a bit more. The previously feared and foreign place is almost asking them to get comfortable and look around. What’s here?
Because it feels so much better, they seem to relax and curiously explore this unexpected sense of support and space noticing it’s replaced the fear, terror and panic.
They feel held by something so solid.
They find a sense of peace they haven’t felt in forever.
How can this be?
The calm AFTER the storm.
There’s a few laughs at what just went down. And an acknolwedgement they survived to tell the tale.
With each peace-filled breath, a new energy arrives.
A new identity.
“Who am I here? Without all that stuff I thought I was suppose to do?”
I watch doors they never expected to open do so easily with a sense hope and possibility. More options. New ideas. A stream of wisdom scooping underneath them with a thread for them to follow… something they need to know.
And they receive the hell out of it.
And then they realize THEY made this possible. By simply giving up.
It makes them laugh. Hard.
And when I tell them THEY are fucking incredible, magical and miraculous – they receive it and know it because to be polite doesn’t make sense here.
Imagine discovering this about yourself … after giving up of all things.
Fucking nuts isn’t it?
I love what I do and WHY I do it.
Life’s too short to be carrying around bullshit burdens and beliefs about who you are and what you are “suppose” to do.
You deserve peace, freedom and movement.
Give yourself this gift and LET IT ALL GO.
Throw an emotional garage sale and unload the clutter you don’t need anymore.
Give it back to something bigger than yourself to be healed and forgiven.
Discover that you and this connection is all you ever needed. Everything you ever need is right here from this moment forward.
Thank you Emelia Symington Fedy for inspiring this to move through me so fast and true. For myself and anyone else who could really use it.
Give up. I dare you.
Much love in daring,