Doing our best is about taking action, doing what we love and feels good because it makes us happy. When we do things because we want to, not because we have to.
It’s creating and enjoying the process, setting a goal and going for it without any attachment to attaining it. This is when you dare to act on or express that something inside you – a want, need, desire or impulse and allow it to emerge in whatever shape or form it chooses. It could be writing, baking, music, dancing, designing, arranging, building or dreaming and more.
When you give yourself credit for doing your best it’s beyond empowering.
The cynics out there might say this agreement sounds ‘convenient’ or an easy way out and yes, this is another perspective that is possible but it reeks of judgement, expectations and pressure from the storyteller in their head. If we concede to this argument then the path taken feels locked down by living for the pleasing of others, or maintaining the status quo. We cannot be responsible for how other people interpret our behaviour. I believe we are responsible for being truthful with ourselves, first and foremost.
For example, where the hell have I been for three days? Not here, that’s for sure.
I’ve been doing my best. 🙂
(and NO I didn’t time the absence just for this post – call it Divine Timing..LOL)
My original goal was to write a little something everyday and truth be told, I was THRILLED to hit 13 days in a row. It felt great to create and write everyday and it was also a lot to keep up with. By the time Saturday arrived, my best involved having the kids on my own, a visit from my Dad, a family Christmas party, a day trip to Vancouver Island, followed by a full day of clients and biz development with a night of meaningful connections at a Crave Event in Vancouver.
It’s fair to say that with all this goodness going on, my best intentions vanished into thin air. And I was okay with it.
Okay – not totally true. There was a moment where a pang of “I should” showed up and then I saw I was truly, doing my best and let it go. I don’t like to do internal battles anymore if I can help it.
In practicing being impeccable with my word, not taking things personally, not making assumptions and doing my best – it becomes increasingly easier to pinpoint what the truth is vs. a bunch of old lies I no longer want to engage in.
I was enjoying the reasons I didn’t have time to write so when the question became,“Do I really want to ruin this good feeling by staying up until 3AM every night and exhaust myself to make sure I have something posted?”
I responded with ‘I make the rules and I say, no thanks.’
It was easy because I knew I was doing my best with the time and energy I had. Nuff said. End of story.
When you know you’ve done all you could based on how you felt, what you had to work with and the varying life circumstances, the standard of ‘your best’ fluctuates if you allow it to have flexibility outside of a rigid measuring stick.
If we are the designers of our own experience, why wouldn’t we make it feel better for ourselves?
Over the last few weeks, I’ve also cancelled on a few holiday & birthday parties I committed to because going would have felt like a complete stretch to me mentally and physically. By the time they arrived, after long hours and not a lot of sleep, I would have attended more out of obligation or guilt and I don’t want to experience that anymore. I no longer feel obligated to go for fear of upsetting anyone.
Me saying ‘Sorry, I can’t’ has nothing to do with anyone else personally (see agreement #2).
It has everything to do with how I feel and honouring it.
Did I disappoint people or piss them off? Maybe.
But this wasn’t my intention – so I don’t spend time giving it another thought. If it was my intention to hurt them, then yes, I’d have something to feel bad about. I told them the truth. I bit off more than I could chew and I hadn’t seen my husband for more than 30 minutes at a time that week. I needed to feel reconnected to myself and my core family before I gave my time or energy to anyone outside that circle. They seemed to get it immediately and I didn’t sense any hard feelings.
Blunt request coming to anyone who is use to putting other people’s comfort before their own…
Stop being afraid to change your mind.
We have the right and the prerogative to admit when we take on too much or make mistakes and hope to do better next time. Sadly most of us ‘push through’ and sacrifice our happiness in the process of trying to meet obligations that don’t suite us anymore or in trying to look like we have our shit together when we don’t.
The practice of admitting I couldn’t do something and didn’t have my shit together was the best move I ever made. I want this liberation for all.
Life is a whole lot easier (and more enjoyable) if we allow some of these old ways of living, be just that… old.
Wishing you courage to start creating YOUR new ways today using these Four Simple-But-Life-Altering Agreements as a guide. Once you do, be prepared for your intended life to rise up and meet you – one ‘doing your best’ moment at a time.