So the week after I lost my grip at the number on the scale, I am happy to report I was able to go back and get on the ‘horse’ with a different, more supportive, mindset – with the big picture in mind. To do this, I consciously centred myself to support ME no matter what the number said and to ward off any possible troll ‘attacks’. To my shock and awe, I dropped a staggering SEVEN pounds in a week which on one hand was freaking fantastic to see, but then it really hit me that Lisa was right when she begs for us to stop putting so much power in the number because it’s a fickle biotch. But then I thought… “Fickle in my favour!! Holla!”
But seriously, it was a great lesson for me to seek any validation I need from inside myself and not outside of that space, whether it is a number on a scale, measuring tape, or comments from others about how I’m doing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m celebrating the progress for sure but I’m very aware not to get too caught up in the ‘hype’ and, like Dory from Finding Nemo, sing “just keep going… just keep going”. And seeing the bigger picture means me having a more meaningful life – not to simply fit into a new dress or pre-prego jeans. This is for life baby.
Which leads me to share a funny story that happened last week while I was out running. I’m in the middle of the ‘Couch to 5K’ run/walking program and for this to happen I sometimes drop Denny off at preschool and take baby Beau out for a spin in the stroller before I have to head back for pick-up. On this particular day I was feeling really energetic and filled with community connection vibes greeting everyone I ran past with a chipper “Hello!” “Good Morning!” and LOVE it when I get it back. It’s like a game for me now to see if I can get eye contact, a smile, nod, cheerful hello back or better yet, all of the above!
So as I was winding down the last 5 minutes of running and I came upon a serious looking older man, dressed in black from head to toe who was looking ominously out at the water at Garry Point Park and gave him a solid “Morning!” as I approached. He looked uplifted for a moment, and gave me a half-smile nod which had me thinking “Nice” … but then the expression and body language changed completely and next thing I know he snarled at me saying “Better not let my chiropractor catch you doing that! …It’s really bad for you!”
(I feel like I just heard a collective “Faaack Yoouuuuu Old Man!” from you all in cyber land, haha. And believe me, I’m with you, but hang on…)
Having been to stroller fitness classes, I assumed he meant running with the stroller. And, because I had only seconds to respond (… or not) I heard myself actually respond with a genuinely sincere and grateful “Thanks! I WON’T!” followed by a huge smile.
The funny part was that I said it as if I took him literally, like I was going to keep a lookout for this horrible naysayer bone-doctor he warned me of, lurking around the next corner! I have no idea why I responded this way but am so glad I did. Because you should have seen the look of total CONFUSION on this guys face, thinking “Wha? Hey, no! I was being an asshole lady! Don’t you get it?!” (It still makes me laugh out loud …) He seemed almost disappointed that I didn’t stick around to engage him. And as I ran on, so many thoughts poured into my head about what I could have said. Then I actually felt a bit sad for him that his outlook was so shitty, he just felt the need to share it with me. I’ll tell you something – if he’d got me a few weeks ago he might have had a desperate crazy woman with her hand around his throat screaming “REALLY?! REALLY?! Would you rather I go back to sitting on my ass and wasting my life? HUH?!! Do you?!!” and then this thought made me laugh even harder as I kept running.
So thank you, you crabby bastard. I’m sorry someone crapped in your cornflakes, but you made my day. I saw progress outside of a measuring stick and it felt great. Best. Gift. Ever.