In my quest for living a bigger, more purpose-driven life, my theme for 2013 is “Dare to SUCK!” which was a phrase I took away from one of my weekend coach training sessions challenging us to swing wide with our clients and take risks. So this approach is going to be perfect for me this year, where I plan to put myself in situations where I don’t have all the answers and seek to try new things. To expose myself to new experiences, new people and to do it all being unattached to the outcome – meaning I could completely fall flat on my face, in front of a LOT of people… and it not MEAN anything, other than I gave it a go and (hopefully) learned something. The more I think about this, the more I wonder “What the hell are you thinking??!! You know the Universe is listening, right?”

That being said, I developed the following strategy to help keep me moving forward when I get stuck and want to retreat (anybody who’s read Scaredy Squirrel to your kids might recognize the approach):

Step 1: PANIC! (aka Let Go and Feel it all) – Surrender to the discomfort, messy, ugly cry, frustration of being stuck and say all the irrational crap out loud that I am telling myself. Leave no stone unturned. Exorcise that shit in a big way and clear the way for what lies underneath, which is hopefully, rational thinking and my true inner voice of reason and wisdom that wants more for me.

Step 2: Take a deep breath, figure out what I need and (ahem..) ASK FOR HELP! I choose to draw on the richness of experience and wisdom from others around me (friends, colleagues, family) and if it’s not there then I commit to seek it out – research, expanding my network, reading, classes. I choose to be an empowered participant, for the sake of walking into awesome!

This step is a toughie hard, especially because I really want to look good, do things perfect the first time and appear to have my shit together, but it’s amazing what happens when I don’t rely on others to read my mind, or better yet, test them to see how well they know me – because they SHOULD know, right? Been there, done that and it’s a dangerous game I no longer want to play.

Step 3: TAKE THE HELP, I asked for it! Shut off the voices of resistance/pride/ego in my head, say “Thank You” and open up my mind, ears and take in what I don’t know. I need to remember that NOBODY ever did anything worthwhile or impactful ALONE. Nobody. I will find comfort in this fact and consider tattooing it somewhere I can see it anytime I need to.

Step 4: TRUST AND LEAP INTO THE UNKNOWN! Whatever it is I want to do or try, I will take what I know, suck up some fierce courage and TRUST that no matter what happens, trying and failing miserably (worse case scenario) is truly better than not trying at all. And who knows, I might not only inspire others to do the same but inspire MYSELF to keep going! I can also sense some hilarious stories to come from this place and I love me a good story to share J This thought is almost exciting… where I can practically feel the desire TO fail…haha!

So how am I going to be applying the above? I have officially committed to achieving the following goals over the coming months and they each, scare the crap out of me in their own way:

To Becoming An Amazing CERTIFIED Co-Active™ Coach

During my certification, I will be challenged BIGTIME to get more courageous with clients for the sake of their growth and goals. Meaning, I need to let go of looking good and to make mistakes, do the irrational, crazy, out of the box approaches that come to me in the moment. What makes this easier is the latter part of that first sentence. I’d do anything for these amazing people that come into my life and I want them to experience whatever shift or transformation they want so badly. I have to remember this when I’m resisting and holding back.

To Be BIGGER … In Front Of More People! Full Exposure!

Although I love the intimacy and power of one to one coaching, after 6 months exposing my inner-most challenges, experience and stories in front of my coaching people – I remembered how incredible it feels to connect with a bigger audience. Back in high school, I gave up on my dream to be on stage and perform. What’s different now is that it’s less about ‘look at me’ and more about sharing information and making that connection about something bigger and more meaningful. And as NERVE-WRACKING as it is for me to do this, whenever I do it, I feel something rise up in me that is too cool to ignore. It’s like I am firing on all cylinders and can feel my full power. I just pray that the ridonkulous knee-knocking nerves I recently experienced (see below video of me sharing my E.A.T experience) will dissipate with practice and exposure. Uggh.


So get this, a few months ago, my super-successful, professional speaker / communications powerhouse of a cousin, Maureen “Mo” Douglas, called me after I posted one of my more vulnerable blog entries and asked if I considered sharing my stories to a bigger crowd. All of the sudden, I saw the possibilities and got the FEELING of that dream I’d given up on so long ago, so I said “No… but I’m listening.”

Thank you, Universe.

Yesterday, I received my confirmation to attend a two day workshop (with Mo) at the end of February to train with a celebrated Keynote Speaker, Hugh Culver on how to better connect with an audience and be the most impactful speaker possible. Exciting!!! But shit scared!!!

Don’t think my troll isn’t rearing up his head yelling “You are IN over your head woman! You have ZERO experience! You are LITERALLY going to make a HUGE ass out of yourself! Seriously – no joke!”

The funny part is, and it’s not like I am trying to will it, but in this perspective, I really have nothing to lose. As much as I don’t want to embarrass myself, I want to throw myself in the deep end a little. Why not? Just think of the learning (a.k.a potentially hilarious blog post)!

To Head Into the Physical Unknown

It’s been two months since I finished the E.A.T Nutrition Program and I’m happy to report that I have maintained my weight and inches lost. I have so far, mastered the art of maintaining. Yay! That being said, I have enjoyed hovering here and exploring what I can and can’t do. This is also a place in the past where I would have settled and not pushed any further… and then gained it all back.

Here is a look at what I accomplished from September to November in 2012:

August 2012

August 2012

FAT COAT be gone!

FAT COAT be gone! December 2012

I’m see this as a dive and leveling process. When I began this journey, I dove and committed to the first batch of weight loss, learned and practiced new habits. But then, there felt like the need to relax, loosen the straps, celebrate results and catch my breath. I’ve looked around and am now gathering the strength to dive again and recommit to losing roughly 20 more pounds, fitting into my size 10 clothes by the summer and being able to complete a workout session where I don’t burst into tears when I hit a wall I call “I can’t, I’m weak, I’m going to hurt myself”. I wish this were a joke, but it’s not. Definitely another blog post. As requested by my beloved and patient fitness coach, Lisa, I am posting a picture of my goal outfit to motivate me. It will hang in my closet where I can see it every day and look forward to wearing it again (taken the day after our wedding).


In addition to this, I also registered to run the World Music Half Marathon (Relay) in September where me and my coach-bestie-in-crime, Michaella will each run 13K through the streets of White Rock while rocking out to international tunes. I love the relay part and have never even entered in or run in an actual race.  Holy crap, what have I gotten myself into! Woo Hoo!

PS. Decided to go to the pool tonight and wear my honeymoon bikini (!!), almost a tester to put it (me) all out there, literally… stretch marks, deflated baby-gut was hangin’ out for all to see. I did it and you know what? There was almost LIBERATING about it. My first success in daring to suck and it NOT sucking! CHECK!

I would LOVE to hear your theme for the year so please share. And watch this space, I will be reporting back as I continue on these items and any other gems I need to express to keep myself motivated and moving forward.

With love and gratitude out the ying-yang,

Let’s Do This 2013!