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Day 14: Daring to Stick with It #100DaySelfConnection Experiment

Day 14: Daring to Stick with It #100DaySelfConnection Experiment

Last week I hit day 14 of the #100DaySelfConnection Experiment inspired by Kyle Cease. A few things I cover in this short update are as follows: What it’s like to surrender into the “unknown” A little bit about the unexpected “place” I found What’s available to us ALL when we make time for this practice How to find answers to life’s challenges in the stillness Click here to play video   Thanks for following along and if you are doing this experiment too, please comment below and tell me what YOU are noticing! Happy Connections, x...

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Day 7: Daring to Be With It ALL. #100DaySelfConnection Experiment

Day 7: Daring to Be With It ALL. #100DaySelfConnection Experiment

100 days of Self Connection. One hour of stillness a day. I’ve made it to day seven. Today I went on Periscope to share what I’ve experienced and here is the replay. Highlights include Sharing HOW I manage with two little people to take care of WHAT do I actually do “it” ; and, What I’ve experienced inside AND outside of myself as a result of this experience (with one very surprising item off my “to-do” list complete without procrastination which is a MIRACLE). And lots of good discussion about why I think this experiment has the power to change the world (ya, that’s all).   Enjoy and feel free to hop in on the conversation over on the Facebook page x...

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The Gifts of Giving and Receiving (Day 24 & 25) #25DaysOfPresence

The Gifts of Giving and Receiving (Day 24 & 25) #25DaysOfPresence

My hope for #25DaysOfPresence was to attempt being more present and share the gifts of presence as I went. I saw what I needed to see and felt what needed to be feel. I’ve done and undone. I’ve course-corrected when I slowed down during the busiest time of the year in a completely different way. And I thank you for coming along for the ride. Today, I received a gift this morning via an email from a friend who shared a story of seeing the portrait child prodigy Akaine painted of Jesus (featured in the book and movie Heaven is For Real). I saw the movie and remembered it clearly. It reminded me of the original and true story of Christmas about people coming together to celebrate and give whatever they had – out of the spirit of giving. And their gifts were fully received and rejoiced. They were truly grateful. In thinking about the simplicity of this, something opened up in me and a rush of emotion had me sobbing amongst my wrapping paper and ribbons. Not tears of sadness or melancholy. Of love. The love that happens when we slow down and receive the gifts all around us – not just in the packages we open. Thus, I was inspired to write… First, on Gifts. This year I’ve received many gifts and now see how they can take many forms, so pay attention. The more present and aware you are, the more you find. First, there are the obvious gifts you open and appreciate. There are also gifts in written and spoken words that touch your heart or wake you up, get your attention and point you in a new direction that feels right. There are gifts of experiences and gestures that tell you someone sees you and that you matter. Gifts can even show up in fights, disagreements and ‘life-is-happening-to-me’ moments that can be opportunities to clear the air and begin again, stronger and clearer. On Giving. There are so many gifts we are waiting to receive from others outside ourselves.  Something to help us feel seen, to feel better or change our situation. In the past, when I waited to receive this from others, my life stood still, stuck unconsciously asking, Do you even see me over here? Do you know what it’s like for me? Do you even care? Beuller? We never think to give the gift of being seen and acknowledgement to ourselves, FROM ourselves. This is one of the greatest ways we can receive. I never realized that I was the very person I needed to be seen and loved by. Turns out this is the best gift I’ve ever received is my own loving attention. To celebrate, document and acknowledge the things I’ve achieved, moments I’ve learned and ways I’ve changed for the better. As the year comes to a close, I’m asking you to take a moment and find as many things as you can to celebrate, acknowledge and give yourself credit for. Whether you do this silently or write it down in literal love letter to yourself. Simply let yourself know, Hey, you did that thing. I saw it all. And you are amazing. In line with this, in the book A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle suggests that whatever we are missing or wanting in our life – give it to others. Give without without expectation, attachment or obligation. That this has the power...

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The Four Agreements #4: Always Do Your Best, End of Story. Literally. (Day 16) #25DaysOfPresence

The Four Agreements #4: Always Do Your Best, End of Story. Literally. (Day 16) #25DaysOfPresence

  Doing our best is about taking action, doing what we love and feels good because it makes us happy. When we do things  because we want to, not because we have to.   It’s creating and enjoying the process, setting a goal and going for it without any attachment to attaining it. This is when you dare to act on or express that something inside you – a want, need, desire or impulse and allow it to emerge in whatever shape or form it chooses. It could be writing, baking, music, dancing, designing, arranging, building or dreaming and more. When you give yourself credit for doing your best it’s beyond empowering. The cynics out there might say this agreement sounds ‘convenient’ or an easy way out and yes, this is another perspective that is possible but it reeks of judgement, expectations and pressure from the storyteller in their head.  If we concede to this argument then the path taken feels locked down by living for the pleasing of others, or maintaining the status quo. We cannot be responsible for how other people interpret our behaviour. I believe we are responsible for being truthful with ourselves, first and foremost. For example, where the hell have I been for three days? Not here, that’s for sure. I’ve been doing my best. 🙂 (and NO I didn’t time the absence just for this post – call it Divine Timing..LOL) My original goal was to write a little something everyday and truth be told, I was THRILLED to hit 13 days in a row. It felt great to create and write everyday and it was also a lot to keep up with. By the time Saturday arrived, my best involved having the kids on my own, a visit from my Dad, a family Christmas party, a day trip to Vancouver Island, followed by a full day of clients and biz development with a night of meaningful connections at a Crave Event in Vancouver. It’s fair to say that with all this goodness going on, my best intentions vanished into thin air. And I was okay with it. Okay – not totally true. There was a moment where a pang of “I should” showed up and then I saw I was truly, doing my best and let it go. I don’t like to do internal battles anymore if I can help it. In practicing being impeccable with my word, not taking things personally, not making assumptions and doing my best – it becomes increasingly easier to pinpoint what the truth is vs. a bunch of old lies I no longer want to engage in. I was enjoying the reasons I didn’t have time to write so when the question became,“Do I really want to ruin this good feeling by staying up until 3AM every night and exhaust myself to make sure I have something posted?” I responded with ‘I make the rules and I say, no thanks.’ It was easy because I knew I was doing my best with the time and energy I had. Nuff said. End of story. When you know you’ve done all you could based on how you felt, what you had to work with and the varying life circumstances, the standard of ‘your best’ fluctuates if you allow it to have flexibility outside of a rigid measuring stick. If we are the designers of our own experience, why wouldn’t we make it feel better for ourselves? Over the last few weeks, I’ve also cancelled on a few holiday & birthday parties I committed to because going would have felt like a complete stretch to me mentally and physically. By the time...

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The Four Agreements #2: Don’t Take Anything Personally.  (Day 11) #25DaysOfPresence

The Four Agreements #2: Don’t Take Anything Personally. (Day 11) #25DaysOfPresence

In the pursuit for more presence in life (and over the holidays), yesterday I summarized one of  the first Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, from his book that blows up self-limiting beliefs through a simple and effective “code of personal conduct”. Today, I get into one of the most FREEING agreements of them all. Don’t take anything personally. BOOM! When you begin to know the storyteller that resides inside yourself  (review agreement 1), you understand the way others act around and towards you is really fueled by THEIR storyteller. Basically, projecting the lies they’ve gathered throughout their life experience. This is where you can finally know (and possibly say) – “This about you, not me.” Knowing this, helps us disengage in the pattern of being ‘hooked’ by their words and believing the biggest lie which was that how they were acting or what they were saying was because there was something wrong with us. When we were kids we never had a choice about what to believe because everything we agreed to believe was imposed on us.  Sadly we create a lot of our stories as innocent children who interpret these interactions in very simple terms. “I must have done something wrong. I’m not okay. Who I am and what I do is bad. I am bad.” Now, we have the opportunity we didn’t have  when we were kids. We get to tell a new story. Our new story can be based on the truth that resided in us BEFORE we grew up and absorbed the lies (beliefs, expectations, roles, responsibilities) imposed on us. Look at babies. They are the fullest, truest expression of themselves. They don’t quiet themselves down for fear of upsetting anyone or hurting their feelings. They don’t play small or shrink. They are larger than life in terms of their spirit. They are open to give and receive love to the fullest. In not taking anything personally anymore, we liberate our self from the suffering of believing it was always about us, our value or our worth. It never had anything to do with us – and in this new place we can STOP continuing the cycle of spreading emotional poison. Allowing this agreement into my life, liberated me in ways I never imagined. It had be immediately become acutely aware of other people acting out their stories and paying attention to how I interpreted those actions. I became a skilled detective about what was mine and what was theirs.  With every old reaction and dicey interaction, I was empowered to examine my thoughts and look for the story I was telling myself about what was happening. Doing this allowed me to sift out what felt really true and what felt like someone else’s story. It didn’t mean I became immune to reacting or having my feelings hurt. With practice and the willingness to get curious about what is really going on in me, I continue to learn more my own evolution and grow more confident in my own skin reconciling all the misunderstandings I’ve collected over the years. As these layers continue to unravel and disappear (note there is no end destination) my level of authenticity increases and with it come a LOT MORE FUN. Not taking anything personally also allows more room and space for compassion to show up when people are on the attacking. Sometimes its possible to rise above it and love them regardless of what’s shaking out and other times we know to walk away from these experiences. Either way, we become more empowered in our own experience. All...

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The Four Agreements: For Clarity & Cleaning Up The Confusion (Day10) #25DaysOfPresence

The Four Agreements: For Clarity & Cleaning Up The Confusion (Day10) #25DaysOfPresence

  There are some books that have the power to transform and impact our life in a dramatic way. Today in me sharing my quest for more presence, I want to summarize one of the most influential (and easy to read) books, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. In it, shamanic teacher and healer, Don Miguel Ruiz exposes self-limiting beliefs and presents a simple and effective “code of personal conduct” learned from his Toltec ancestors. It’s simplicity appealed to me because my life at the time felt complicated and confusing. It was messy. Reading his clear approach helped me identify and start practicing new ways of seeing the truth and not believing in the lies I had been telling myself for years. These lies field the behaviours, habits and stories that kept me stuck for so long. They are Four Agreements to make with ourself, and they are: Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions; and Always do your best. In the next few days I will present each agreement one-by-one  (today is Agreement #1) followed by a brief summary underneath. Enjoy! To Be Impeccable With Our Words   Our words are powerful. The ones we speak, the ones we DON’T speak. The words we use against ourselves, others and our life situations. Being impeccable with our word is considered the SUPREME agreement and the essential goal as it is supported by the following three as the practice that makes the master. Paying attention to the words I used inside my head and the ones I spewed out of my mouth helped me identify where I was outside of integrity with myself. I heard the storyteller inside my head, the one who felt powerful when she gossiped (if only for a brief moment). It was through her, that I took everything personally and made a lot of assumptions to fill in the gaps of what I didn’t really know. It was my story and words that held me back, made me fail to to my best because the story I told had me paralyzed in self doubt and fear. In practicing this agreement, I began to clean up the talk I spoke about myself, to myself and about others and life around me. It was my stories that created the drama, emotional reaction, had me make assumptions and put me in a cycle of feeling emotionally out of control. This was the core of all my issues. I learned that the words I use and think create my experience. They are powerful. Everytime we speak, our words become energy through sound that land on another and if the word we speak is gossipy shit, that mess gets potentially absorbed through those we interact with. Like spreading poison. How do you know when you are using your words impeccably? You feel happy, good about yourself, comfortable and you feel love. How do you know when you are using your words against yourself? You feel suffering on some level – discomfort, anger, jealousy, sadness – the result of believing in knowledge contaminated with lies. When we clean our word up, we can experience what it feels like to be more ourselves and in alignment to what feels right and true for us.   It’s our truth that will transform our story.   Tomorrow, I’ll review Agreement #2 (and one of my personal favourites) … DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY! Woo Hoo!!   Keri-Anne Livingstone is...

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