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Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Women are amazing. Period. But just because we are capable of handling A LOT – doesn’t mean we should stay at this setting continuously pumping awesome through our veins 24 hours a day.   It’s almost like once we see what we are capable of our mind says “why would we ever operate on a lower setting moving forward now that we KNOW what we can do?” It’s out of sheer appreciation and awe of our own power. I get it. Why would we ever slow down or go back to being “less than” awesome? Here is where I feel we can misunderstand our own superpower –  which is to embody the feminine. Which is powerful in itself and highly misunderstood. To me, this part understands and surrenders to the ebb and flow of life. Where we demonstrate our innate knowing to move with life and not against it. Where we rise up to honour the great rushes of energy and also intuitively tune in to when we need to rest and reflect in stillness as needed. Somewhere along the line we put the value in results, outcomes, achievements and the “I can do it all-ness” mentality we know is possible. And shit get’s out of whack. Have you been growing potatoes? A few years ago when my husband and I began gardening in a community plot, we were frustrated because nothing we planted did very well. It just withered or didn’t show up at all. We did everything we could but nothing seemed to come up above the ground. When we mentioned our frustrations with my sister in law (a horticultural wizard) she asked if the previous owners grew potatoes – which they had. She said that for us to see any growth, the soil needed replenishing, extreme nurturing and supplementation to bring it back to a healthy PH. Apparently potatoes suck the life out of soil making it practically useless with nothing left to give. I now this metaphor returns as I emerge from growing a bumper crop of potatoes.  After the incredible output of energy and excitement I experienced in the first week of the year (launching my 8 Days of Daring  Experiment and selling out my Live Daringly Sessions), I was blown away to see what I was capable of learning and putting into practice in my business. On last day I had a stack of clarity calls set up and was promptly hit by the mother of all colds that I’m still trying to shake off weeks later. This was a result of running on HIGH for three weeks straight, getting very low quality, being on my phone too much and generally buzzing from the learning and newness it all presented. It was exhilarating and exciting in the moment but now I feel aches and pains I can’t explain and feel the urge to do very little. I’ve pulled back my energy, cancelled plans and allowed myself to listen to where my energy wants to take me (which is back to bed). I started turning my phone off at night and consciously choosing comfort at every turn to replenish my soil. When we know better, we BE better (and wish it happened faster) I’m learning recovery doesn’t happen overnight as I hear my mind inquire “So.. are you better yet? Can we go back to “normal” now?” holding the assumption that I should stay at that level of output and energy I held those three weeks. My heart and soul aren’t as direct as the mind but I...

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Take The Leap… Or Wait To Be Pushed?

This story is designed to inspire & give courage to anyone who is on the verge, and feeling called, to quit their job in order to pursue something more meaningful. This is part of the Taking the Leap resource, a database full of real-life stories from people who have successfully gone from job dissatisfaction to career emancipation. I never wanted to be an entrepreneur. And I didn’t exactly “leap”. To me, it felt more like a violent shove that had me resisting what was happening most of the way down. I consider it more like waking up in my life to rediscover the core of who I was, and rebuild from there. I read this post recently by Alison Nappi on being pursued by consciousness and I felt such a connection to the process. She writes, I wouldn’t recommend the pursuit of consciousness to anyone. I would not have chosen it for myself. I didn’t. It chose me. If it hasn’t called your number yet, don’t worry. It will, eventually.   In my case, this couldn’t be truer. It reminds me of another gem I heard a few years ago that said the most dangerous place for us to be is unconscious in our own life. This basically speaks to falling asleep at the wheel in your own life (which is what I did in many ways) because in this place, life appears to sideswipe us with unexpected and devastating events that call us forth to transform whether we like it or not. Something Bigger at Play Looking back, I laugh at how it all went down for me. I also cry remembering it too. It was the hardest learning of my life and the most necessary. Like the Universe knew the whole time what was coming and sent me hints and messages throughout my life for me to course-correct, but I didn’t. Me becoming more ‘conscious’ started with a nagging sense of being in the wrong place professionally followed by me complaining about it, knowing from a deep place inside me that I was not exactly fulfilling my full potential. Throughout my life people made comments towards what my unique gifts were and I experienced pivotal moments that suggested how I was meant to shine my light but I would waive them off as compliments, coincidences or wonderful memories that were only there to sweeten this journey called Life. They even showed up as annoyances. My husband, Scott would always respond to my growing complaints about corporate life with “Well, when you go out on your own….” and I’d defensively shriek back at him how I never wanted that for me. That hating ‘ the man’ was his thing.  I liked having ‘the man’ for a boss as well as vacations, benefits and a regular pay cheque! No way in hell I wanted the hassle of running my own show. He seemed to know something that I didn’t apparently. There were a few times I grabbed hold of a few hints and acted on them but would ultimately lose out to inner limiting dialogue that implied I couldn’t, for many reasons… It was too late. I was too old. I don’t know what to do. But how? I was a Mom now. What would people say? I have no idea where to start. I was already so established. It’s too hard to start over. I can’t afford to change now. If I did changed course now, how could I reconcile all the years I apparently“wasted”?   Let’s just say, the storm of...

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Daring to Suck!

In my quest for living a bigger, more purpose-driven life, my theme for 2013 is “Dare to SUCK!” which was a phrase I took away from one of my weekend coach training sessions challenging us to swing wide with our clients and take risks. So this approach is going to be perfect for me this year, where I plan to put myself in situations where I don’t have all the answers and seek to try new things. To expose myself to new experiences, new people and to do it all being unattached to the outcome – meaning I could completely fall flat on my face, in front of a LOT of people… and it not MEAN anything, other than I gave it a go and (hopefully) learned something. The more I think about this, the more I wonder “What the hell are you thinking??!! You know the Universe is listening, right?” That being said, I developed the following strategy to help keep me moving forward when I get stuck and want to retreat (anybody who’s read Scaredy Squirrel to your kids might recognize the approach): Step 1: PANIC! (aka Let Go and Feel it all) – Surrender to the discomfort, messy, ugly cry, frustration of being stuck and say all the irrational crap out loud that I am telling myself. Leave no stone unturned. Exorcise that shit in a big way and clear the way for what lies underneath, which is hopefully, rational thinking and my true inner voice of reason and wisdom that wants more for me. Step 2: Take a deep breath, figure out what I need and (ahem..) ASK FOR HELP! I choose to draw on the richness of experience and wisdom from others around me (friends, colleagues, family) and if it’s not there then I commit to seek it out – research, expanding my network, reading, classes. I choose to be an empowered participant, for the sake of walking into awesome! This step is a toughie hard, especially because I really want to look good, do things perfect the first time and appear to have my shit together, but it’s amazing what happens when I don’t rely on others to read my mind, or better yet, test them to see how well they know me – because they SHOULD know, right? Been there, done that and it’s a dangerous game I no longer want to play. Step 3: TAKE THE HELP, I asked for it! Shut off the voices of resistance/pride/ego in my head, say “Thank You” and open up my mind, ears and take in what I don’t know. I need to remember that NOBODY ever did anything worthwhile or impactful ALONE. Nobody. I will find comfort in this fact and consider tattooing it somewhere I can see it anytime I need to. Step 4: TRUST AND LEAP INTO THE UNKNOWN! Whatever it is I want to do or try, I will take what I know, suck up some fierce courage and TRUST that no matter what happens, trying and failing miserably (worse case scenario) is truly better than not trying at all. And who knows, I might not only inspire others to do the same but inspire MYSELF to keep going! I can also sense some hilarious stories to come from this place and I love me a good story to share J This thought is almost exciting… where I can practically feel...

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My Journey Out of the Well

This past weekend I completed ‘Balance’, the third of five courses in my training to become a certified life coach. As I’ve been living my life bigger and bigger these days, friends and family ask me what ‘grabbing the reins of my life’ is all about and why I am taking on so much since having my second son, Beau, just 6 months ago. Since that time, I’ve started coach training, a social media revolution in my community, a running / exercise program and began a nutrition class. What I respond with is something along the lines of “I used to live in a well” which obviously gets some confused looks, but in a nutshell I use to be very stuck in my life and I’m learning so many others can relate to this perspective. And seeing as the course I just finished was all about shifting perspective, I came across the original journal entry after my first coaching session with Peter back in February that can explain it better, so here it is “We began our session by having me review several aspects of my life and grade them from zero to 10 on how satisfied I was with each section – my health, marriage, money, physical environment, fun, career, friendships etc. When I looked at the completed diagram I clearly saw how much I limit myself in almost all the aspects and how over the years, created a smaller and smaller life for myself. There are areas I’m more satisfied (5-8) in – my marriage, my home, my family and friends – but anything to do with me like my health, work, fun (what’s that again??) and happiness were practically non-existent (0-2). I saw that my life was very safe, cozy and familiar but on the other I feel jealous of others for having the energy and courage to live much bigger lives doing something they care about who are making an impact on the world. So I openly ask ‘why don’t I allow myself to break free … what am I waiting for? What I heard come out of my mouth was automatic and thoughtless, but profound. I am waiting for someone to see me sitting here and tell me what to do! I’ve never felt so stuck … and intellectually I know that I am the only one who can make a change in my life so why  on earth would I expect someone else to tell me what to do? And then Peter asked me to answer my own question, again… (what am I paying him for?? haha ) and then it even got crazier. I responded Because nobody ever does and nobody ever did ….which was made me burst out laughing because it was a childish thing to say but that was where it was coming from. As I explored this perspective, I realize growing up, the topic of dreaming or even figuring out what I wanted to do was not something I ever learned to talk about. I had loving parents and family but my household had its own priorities and dramas that made for a fairly unpredictable environment – so this makes sense. We had too much other shit going on..haha. I know in my heart and head that we were doing the best we could, all of us. The unpredictability taught me work with what was in front of me...

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