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Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Women are amazing. Period. But just because we are capable of handling A LOT – doesn’t mean we should stay at this setting continuously pumping awesome through our veins 24 hours a day.   It’s almost like once we see what we are capable of our mind says “why would we ever operate on a lower setting moving forward now that we KNOW what we can do?” It’s out of sheer appreciation and awe of our own power. I get it. Why would we ever slow down or go back to being “less than” awesome? Here is where I feel we can misunderstand our own superpower –  which is to embody the feminine. Which is powerful in itself and highly misunderstood. To me, this part understands and surrenders to the ebb and flow of life. Where we demonstrate our innate knowing to move with life and not against it. Where we rise up to honour the great rushes of energy and also intuitively tune in to when we need to rest and reflect in stillness as needed. Somewhere along the line we put the value in results, outcomes, achievements and the “I can do it all-ness” mentality we know is possible. And shit get’s out of whack. Have you been growing potatoes? A few years ago when my husband and I began gardening in a community plot, we were frustrated because nothing we planted did very well. It just withered or didn’t show up at all. We did everything we could but nothing seemed to come up above the ground. When we mentioned our frustrations with my sister in law (a horticultural wizard) she asked if the previous owners grew potatoes – which they had. She said that for us to see any growth, the soil needed replenishing, extreme nurturing and supplementation to bring it back to a healthy PH. Apparently potatoes suck the life out of soil making it practically useless with nothing left to give. I now this metaphor returns as I emerge from growing a bumper crop of potatoes.  After the incredible output of energy and excitement I experienced in the first week of the year (launching my 8 Days of Daring  Experiment and selling out my Live Daringly Sessions), I was blown away to see what I was capable of learning and putting into practice in my business. On last day I had a stack of clarity calls set up and was promptly hit by the mother of all colds that I’m still trying to shake off weeks later. This was a result of running on HIGH for three weeks straight, getting very low quality, being on my phone too much and generally buzzing from the learning and newness it all presented. It was exhilarating and exciting in the moment but now I feel aches and pains I can’t explain and feel the urge to do very little. I’ve pulled back my energy, cancelled plans and allowed myself to listen to where my energy wants to take me (which is back to bed). I started turning my phone off at night and consciously choosing comfort at every turn to replenish my soil. When we know better, we BE better (and wish it happened faster) I’m learning recovery doesn’t happen overnight as I hear my mind inquire “So.. are you better yet? Can we go back to “normal” now?” holding the assumption that I should stay at that level of output and energy I held those three weeks. My heart and soul aren’t as direct as the mind but I...

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Day 14: Daring to Stick with It #100DaySelfConnection Experiment

Day 14: Daring to Stick with It #100DaySelfConnection Experiment

Last week I hit day 14 of the #100DaySelfConnection Experiment inspired by Kyle Cease. A few things I cover in this short update are as follows: What it’s like to surrender into the “unknown” A little bit about the unexpected “place” I found What’s available to us ALL when we make time for this practice How to find answers to life’s challenges in the stillness Click here to play video   Thanks for following along and if you are doing this experiment too, please comment below and tell me what YOU are noticing! Happy Connections, x...

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How Speaking Up Has The Power To Transform Our Dreams Into Reality. #LivingTheDream

How Speaking Up Has The Power To Transform Our Dreams Into Reality. #LivingTheDream

  Dreams cannot survive if we keep them hidden in a dark closet or treasure chest in our heart. They need to be set free to take form and live a life of their own. They need to be seen. They need to feel the sun on their face, feel love and breath to stretch and grow as we move forward along side them. When they are shut away for nobody to know about, they dry up and die. For anyone who cringes at the idea of resolutions and dreaming, my next post will help you see you are not alone. I was a ‘practical realist’ most of my life and it served me to a certain degree as I believed on some subconscious level it would keep me more safe and secure. I am now humbled to see things much differently, seeing how much more living is available  when we dare to dream. Scary and unchartered territory – yes. Worth it? Totally. So very worth it. I received three books that are going to help make a dream I declared recently, come true – to write a book that really helps people. My book wants to take people from existing (going through the motions) in life to really LIVING it. It wants it to lift you up, make you laugh and cry – and to inspire action, creativity and self love every step of the way. (Taking a breath…) Whew!Actually putting this out into the world is big fucking deal. And doing so means I’m even more likely to see it happen. I don’t know how or when this will happen and I’m willing to loosen my grip on the details.  What is important is declaring it out loud and sharing it. Doing so makes it REAL. So it actually has a chance. I wasn’t always willing to do this. I hated dreaming. Dreaming in my experience was airy-fairy, a waste of time and only led to disappointment and frustration. So, I’m a new dreamer. I’m three years in and I’ve learned when I take time to discover what I need, name what I want, write it down and share it – it’s becomes a magnetic beacon that draws more and more good stuff to me that supports the dream. This shit is REAL people. I’m a converted believer now. Declaring what I wanted in the beginning of 2014 brought the most incredible experiences to me. I spoke from my heart in front of hundreds of people – like 6 times! I grew my business and started writing a freaking book. I met inspiration at every turn and I did all of this while being able to spend time with my kids and not miss a beat. I’m tired, yes. But I’m also really, really satisfied. I was finally able to say I’m Living The Dream, without being sarcastic. By getting clear on what I wanted for my life a year ago, I experienced one of most conscious and self-supportive years of my life. I don’t think it would have been this way if I hadn’t given myself the time or permission to speak this out loud. I took this picture (right) of my new dreaming tools and a part of me burst out laughing. She is like this Delighted Observer completely thrilled to see what’s happening in my life. She remembers just three short years ago, I was stuck, unsure, scared and uncertain of everything. She never could have fathomed my life to be what it is now, full of Creativity, Exploration, Forgiveness, Freedom and Fun. She’s like Elaine from Seinfeld shoving...

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The Gifts of Giving and Receiving (Day 24 & 25) #25DaysOfPresence

The Gifts of Giving and Receiving (Day 24 & 25) #25DaysOfPresence

My hope for #25DaysOfPresence was to attempt being more present and share the gifts of presence as I went. I saw what I needed to see and felt what needed to be feel. I’ve done and undone. I’ve course-corrected when I slowed down during the busiest time of the year in a completely different way. And I thank you for coming along for the ride. Today, I received a gift this morning via an email from a friend who shared a story of seeing the portrait child prodigy Akaine painted of Jesus (featured in the book and movie Heaven is For Real). I saw the movie and remembered it clearly. It reminded me of the original and true story of Christmas about people coming together to celebrate and give whatever they had – out of the spirit of giving. And their gifts were fully received and rejoiced. They were truly grateful. In thinking about the simplicity of this, something opened up in me and a rush of emotion had me sobbing amongst my wrapping paper and ribbons. Not tears of sadness or melancholy. Of love. The love that happens when we slow down and receive the gifts all around us – not just in the packages we open. Thus, I was inspired to write… First, on Gifts. This year I’ve received many gifts and now see how they can take many forms, so pay attention. The more present and aware you are, the more you find. First, there are the obvious gifts you open and appreciate. There are also gifts in written and spoken words that touch your heart or wake you up, get your attention and point you in a new direction that feels right. There are gifts of experiences and gestures that tell you someone sees you and that you matter. Gifts can even show up in fights, disagreements and ‘life-is-happening-to-me’ moments that can be opportunities to clear the air and begin again, stronger and clearer. On Giving. There are so many gifts we are waiting to receive from others outside ourselves.  Something to help us feel seen, to feel better or change our situation. In the past, when I waited to receive this from others, my life stood still, stuck unconsciously asking, Do you even see me over here? Do you know what it’s like for me? Do you even care? Beuller? We never think to give the gift of being seen and acknowledgement to ourselves, FROM ourselves. This is one of the greatest ways we can receive. I never realized that I was the very person I needed to be seen and loved by. Turns out this is the best gift I’ve ever received is my own loving attention. To celebrate, document and acknowledge the things I’ve achieved, moments I’ve learned and ways I’ve changed for the better. As the year comes to a close, I’m asking you to take a moment and find as many things as you can to celebrate, acknowledge and give yourself credit for. Whether you do this silently or write it down in literal love letter to yourself. Simply let yourself know, Hey, you did that thing. I saw it all. And you are amazing. In line with this, in the book A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle suggests that whatever we are missing or wanting in our life – give it to others. Give without without expectation, attachment or obligation. That this has the power...

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The Four Agreements #4: Always Do Your Best, End of Story. Literally. (Day 16) #25DaysOfPresence

The Four Agreements #4: Always Do Your Best, End of Story. Literally. (Day 16) #25DaysOfPresence

  Doing our best is about taking action, doing what we love and feels good because it makes us happy. When we do things  because we want to, not because we have to.   It’s creating and enjoying the process, setting a goal and going for it without any attachment to attaining it. This is when you dare to act on or express that something inside you – a want, need, desire or impulse and allow it to emerge in whatever shape or form it chooses. It could be writing, baking, music, dancing, designing, arranging, building or dreaming and more. When you give yourself credit for doing your best it’s beyond empowering. The cynics out there might say this agreement sounds ‘convenient’ or an easy way out and yes, this is another perspective that is possible but it reeks of judgement, expectations and pressure from the storyteller in their head.  If we concede to this argument then the path taken feels locked down by living for the pleasing of others, or maintaining the status quo. We cannot be responsible for how other people interpret our behaviour. I believe we are responsible for being truthful with ourselves, first and foremost. For example, where the hell have I been for three days? Not here, that’s for sure. I’ve been doing my best. 🙂 (and NO I didn’t time the absence just for this post – call it Divine Timing..LOL) My original goal was to write a little something everyday and truth be told, I was THRILLED to hit 13 days in a row. It felt great to create and write everyday and it was also a lot to keep up with. By the time Saturday arrived, my best involved having the kids on my own, a visit from my Dad, a family Christmas party, a day trip to Vancouver Island, followed by a full day of clients and biz development with a night of meaningful connections at a Crave Event in Vancouver. It’s fair to say that with all this goodness going on, my best intentions vanished into thin air. And I was okay with it. Okay – not totally true. There was a moment where a pang of “I should” showed up and then I saw I was truly, doing my best and let it go. I don’t like to do internal battles anymore if I can help it. In practicing being impeccable with my word, not taking things personally, not making assumptions and doing my best – it becomes increasingly easier to pinpoint what the truth is vs. a bunch of old lies I no longer want to engage in. I was enjoying the reasons I didn’t have time to write so when the question became,“Do I really want to ruin this good feeling by staying up until 3AM every night and exhaust myself to make sure I have something posted?” I responded with ‘I make the rules and I say, no thanks.’ It was easy because I knew I was doing my best with the time and energy I had. Nuff said. End of story. When you know you’ve done all you could based on how you felt, what you had to work with and the varying life circumstances, the standard of ‘your best’ fluctuates if you allow it to have flexibility outside of a rigid measuring stick. If we are the designers of our own experience, why wouldn’t we make it feel better for ourselves? Over the last few weeks, I’ve also cancelled on a few holiday & birthday parties I committed to because going would have felt like a complete stretch to me mentally and physically. By the time...

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The Four Agreements #3: How ONE Agreement Can Transform Your Life. (Day 12) #25DaysOfPresence

The Four Agreements #3: How ONE Agreement Can Transform Your Life. (Day 12) #25DaysOfPresence

It’s an oldie but a gooder… When we ASSUME, we make an “ASS out of U and ME” and that is why THIS is one of the biggest tickets to personal freedom…     When the storyteller in our head makes up a story, we believe it and then fail to ask questions that might shed light on the truth. Most of our disagreements and life friction stem from making up these assumptions. We assume they won’t want to help us, so we don’t ask. We assume the tone they are speaking in means they are angry at us so we shut down. We assume we aren’t good enough so we don’t try for different. It’s one big guessing game.   Whether it’s about the story we tell about ourself or the one we interpret from others – it all leads to mess in our life. Miscommunication, misunderstandings and nobody being heard or speaking up. All because we assume. We create so many problems for ourselves and others because we are unwilling to ask questions to clear up these assumptions and then them personally and believe them as truth. How many times have you seen this Shakespearian Gong Show play out in your life? The mind hates not to “know” so it takes the surface information it has to work with, keeps the mouth shut and fills in the gaps based on an stories and experience in our past which we then apply to the future of what “it” all means or we guess on how its going to go. This on some level helps us feel safe and that all is predictable. And so the cycle of lies and miscommunication continues. The way out of this mess is through practicing awareness. To pay attention to the story and be willing to see life as it is and not the way you want it to be (to justify what you already believe). When you are willing to see that the voice in your head is always telling a story, you can begin to question the story and notice if it’s based on truth or assumptions. If you notice an assumption you can ask whoever you are interpreting the information from to see if it’s true or not.  In this place, you no longer try to put things into words as much or to explain anything to yourself and this keeps you from making assumptions. When you only use the word to communicate with others and ask questions for clarity (knowing that what you are saying is just a point of view based on what you believe), you take responsibility for your communication. For example, when I begin coaching a new client, we start by designing our relationship agreement where each person shares what they need to be successful. Within it, I have what I call my “Big Girl/Boy Pants Rule” meaning, I expect that we say what we mean and mean what we say. No drama. No apologies. No worries.We speak up when we need something or want to make a change in our agreement. We tell the truth and let each other know when or if we do or say something that offends or goes to far, and more. The clarity is such a relief for both parties. You mean we don’t have to figure what you REALLY mean in the background? Imagine if we all just spoke our truth, expressed our real feelings and just believed what we said and heard it for what it...

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