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What it feels like to GIVE UP and DIE (in order to finally LIVE).

The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to LIVE ~ Mitch Albom via GIPHY One of the most MIRACULOUS moments I get to witness is when I dare someone who is struggling to embody GIVING UP.   They immediately feel panic.    “WHAT?! But… I’ll… What will… Um…”   I respond gently with “I get a sense you’ve done things a certain way for so long… why not try the total opposite on just to see what might be there for you? I promise you can go back to the hard, trying way after if you want.”    Most times, their curiosity (and fatigue) agrees to play the scariest game of pretend … ever.   How do they choose to express “giving up”?   * Some commit fully and fall on their back onto their beds as if bungy jumping into the abyss.   * Some lie back and arrange their limbs as if a chalk outline is about to be drawn.   * Some curl up into a ball and pull over the covers to mimic the darkness they expect.   * Some squirm and flail… until they drop down into the full experience of it.   And then “it” begins…   They metaphorically fall down the well and feel as if they are drowning in the tidal wave they’ve been trying to outrun for decades.   They feel the struggle to keep their head above the water but then give up the fight and allow the floodgates to carry them through one of the ugliest cries of their life.   They surrender...

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Surviving Sudden Death: Healing regret, remorse and unforgivable choices when things end without warning.

Surviving Sudden Death: Healing regret, remorse and unforgivable choices when things end without warning.

Hey Dad, I’ve heard people discuss how time is a manmade construct. That it’s not linear but more like a series of multiple realities running parallel alongside another. I mention this because with the first anniversary of your death coming tomorrow,  I’m been having my own torturous experience of this concept. For the past two weeks especially, it’s felt as if I can ‘see’ me moving through life in the weeks leading up to the day you died – like I’m trapped on the other side of soundproof glass as a silent observer unable to warn my oblivious self as to what’s coming. I’ve watched me and my family go camping with the boys over spring break, take uneventful trips to the park and even visit the ER with my youngest after he decided to swallow a steel bolt. Just the other day (a year ago) I joked on Facebook about the worst right of “passage” I never expected to move through with the weirdest ‘treasure hunt’ ahead of me… it was all so funny. The present-day me presses her hands and forehead against the glass and begins to scrutinize every decision I made – or didn’t make…  Why didn’t I go see you? I don’t understand… what were we doing that was so important to NOT go and see you? It was a long weekend and only a short ferry ride. I was off with the kids for TWO WEEKS! And I never saw you? The wave of regret that follows punches me square in the guts. Every breath in brings a frantic sense of angst, panic covered in remorse. It’s like the present-day me believes I can actually change the way things went down but at the same time tortured and aware that I...

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How to make doubt-proof decisions with clarity and confidence (a.k.a. like a BOSS).

How to make doubt-proof decisions with clarity and confidence (a.k.a. like a BOSS).

There’s nothing more dangerous than throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks (and call it a decision making process). And yet that’s what a lot of us do when we’ve had a few hard falls. How do you make decisions? For me, in the past making decisions meant trying a variety of strategies to gain clarity that included things like the classic “pro/con” list, polling others, trust my gut, go with the flow or take the stance that  “its all good no matter what ~ the Universe has my back” or even flipping a coin. Hell, I’ve thrown caution to the wind, grabbed my faith and leapt into Life expecting it to catch me .. only for it to step aside and have me slam face first onto a sticky dance floor. The Unknown Damage These approaches (albeit some rooted in good intentions) left me with limiting thoughts and unhealthy perspectives that left a residue of doubt on my heart and soul as to whether I could be trusted to make decisions and choices I could rely on.  And these ghosts don’t go away with time. These moments leave negative imprints and impressions that stick with some us for a lifetime (a.k.a how emotional baggage is created) and they collected like doubt-dust bunnies in the corners of our heart – reminders of disappointments and misjudgements that only served to haunt us every time we “try again” and stick our neck out to take a risk or make a decision that might impact the rest of our life. This is where indecision makes us feel weak, induces anxiety and a slurry of hellish feelings. Here are some common examples of the...

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What is your Collateral Beauty of 2016?

What is your Collateral Beauty of 2016?

Last night I saw the movie Collateral Beauty. It’s message was clear… Stay open to see the beauty in the most damaging and difficult experiences imaginable. Be changed by loving and appreciating them for ALL they brought – the joy and the pain.  And here we are. The last day of the 2016 and at the prompting of my friend and spiritual badass, Jill Prescott, I decided to declare and acknowledge the gifts of my year. Not just what I experienced but HOW I showed up and what I SAW and learned about myself in the process. It’s a powerful list to write and have in my back pocket. It’s empowered me to know it, say it out loud and now, share it. Everything that happens to us is a teacher and a guide. Everything. So don’t waste an opportunity to be changed and grown by your own experiences. To be shown your own brilliance, capacity and impact. Throw it a heroes parade. And don’t fear what you might see or learn because when you get closer… it’s ALL seeded in Love and the Ferocity of spirit it takes to live this life and to be here fully. Don’t just rush to complete the test. Be a witness to what you learned. Soak it all in. So, here is the “dare”… Take 15 minutes and explore not just what happened but how you changed. Document it and honour the love lost, joys gained and understanding acquired at every turn. Honour and accept your year just as it was without shining light on the “best” parts. Because they are all BEST parts if you are willing to see it...

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How To Get Out of Your Way (and Get Your Sh*t Together)

How To Get Out of Your Way (and Get Your Sh*t Together)

How do I begin from a mess? What are my dreams? What do I want? How do I figure this (sh*t) out and make it happen? Why does it feel so hard?   The answers to the above are in the below “crash course” created to help you get out of your way to start playing with the life that is all around you, BEGGING to be played with. It really is much easier than you think. And this is in part of the problem so many of us face – my approach equals less thinking and more feeling so join me as I blow up some serious BS around what dreaming  is, what it isn’t and what it actually looks like to pursue our own potential. Over two live calls (links below), I share as much wisdom, theory and practical strategies from my tool belt to shift you (or someone you know) from stuck into the realm of possibility – where Daring to Suck actually happens so you can see how accessible change is for you at every turn. Want to make meaningful shifts in your life, relationships or the work you are meant to do in the world? Click and listen. Because what you want, also wants you. And I am here to get you two together finally! Lesson 1 – What dreaming is, what it isn’t and how to get started from where you are.   Lesson 2 – How to make dreaming ACCESSIBLE and doable, powerful strategies and tangible action to bring your dreams to life. If you like and love, please share it with anyone you know who needs a loving reminder that you don’t in fact have...

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