Where BIG conversations are born.

September 2013

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The MOST Powerful Question I Ask! (and makes clients want to punch me in the face)

Many of us struggle with difficult relationships, the need to have things go a certain way (aka perfectionism) and striving for a desired result from our efforts. So, it’s with good reason, that there is ONE question I ask my clients that really riles them up. What is it to be unattached – to be completely  unattached to the outcome? And I get why they want to punch me in the face. This life-altering question came up for me in my own coaching sessions when I found myself playing small (not speaking up, sharing about my life) with significant people and relationships in my life. My inner troll/critic was on the constant look out when whatever I said was disregarded, talked over or misunderstood and misinterpreted by these people. Upon further investigation, I discovered in some ways, I was waiting for specific people in my life to ask the right question and essentially shine their light on me for me to lean in and share about myself and my life. It had to feel safe and requested. Otherwise, I shared very little with them. And if I was in the process of sharing and they got distracted or took the attention away from me I immediately felt insignificant, unimportant and devalued – total proof that they didn’t listen or care. I felt powerless to this endless cycle of feeling sorry for myself believing ‘things will never change’ and ‘how am I ever going to get around these feelings’? So, my initial response to this epic question was “What would be the point of doing ANYTHING then if I didn’t...

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